A Day Late, But Not a Dollar Short

I was SUPPOSED to write by last night, but I missed my deadline.  I do have some good excuses, but my reasons aren't great.  I say that because technically, I had plenty of time to do it, but it was a pretty crazy week in many ways, and my heart just wasn't in it until tonight.

Excuse #1: The entire family caught a nasty cold last week.  It started with Jacob, a little over a week ago now.  He was just completely miserable, and he broke my heart.  He is such a happy baby, and to see him so beside himself with exhaustion and discomfort made me want to cry.  Actually, I did cry.  At least once each day.  I haven't learned how to deal with seeing my child sick, even if it is just a common cold.  He did make me laugh though, because he wiped his little runny nose with his fist, and then stuck it in my mouth, as if to say "I am NOT the only one in this family that is going to suffer.  You WILL feel my misery."  And soon enough, I did feel his misery.  I felt it through my birthday, and all the way till about Wednesday night.  Brad also caught the cold and overlapped with me.  He was the last one to start feeling better.

Excuse #2: It was my birthday week, and I had two celebrations to partake in, as well as an additional evening out with some of my girls.  Thursday night, I was stoked to go out with some of my MOPS ladies, Michelle, Mechelle, and Tina.  We had a fantastic time laughing, talking, and eating.  I was proud of myself because I ate till I was satisfied, and that was IT!  We then headed over to our friend "other" Marisa's house for a jewelry party.  Yes, I ordered jewelry.  :-)  The following night (Friday), Brad and I finally got to go out for my birthday, so we headed out to a wine tasting night at Wine Depot in Brea (fantastic little place...do go there if you get a chance!).  After a couple hours of wine tasting and talking, we went to Don Jose for dinner, where I gorged myself on Diet Tostada Salad (it's diet cuz all it contains is shredded lettuce, red sauce, and chicken, but for some reason it tastes amazing!).  We made a couple more stops, and finished the night at Yorgurtland before picking Jacob up from my parents' house.  And finally, Saturday night, we had the family bday celebration for February.  Packed week, yes?  But could I have written last night?  Absolutely.

The reason I think I just didn't have it in me was lack of words and inspiration.  I felt so BLAHH about this week.  I wasn't very physically active like I have been the last few weeks.  To my credit, I did take Jacob out for a nice afternoon walk on Tuesday, and it DID make me feel a bit alive again.  But overall, I felt like I had just been lazy.  Yes, I suppose you could say I had reason, but I tend to beat myself up over things like this.  Why didn't I just tough it out and do a quick gym trip on Thursday, once I started feeling better?  Why didn't I get out for one more walk on Friday, prior to our night out?  Well, today, I decided I am done beating myself up.  We all have "off" days and weeks.  Hell, we have "off" months and years sometimes.  But the sooner you can get back up and brush yourself off again, the better.  So today, I finally took the advice of one of my Weight Watchers leaders.  A few weeks back, our meeting stressed the helpfulness of having an "anchor;" an object to remind you of your ultimate goals, to inspire you, and to help you make the right choices in moments of weakness.  I went and got myself an anchor today.  I am wearing two silver bracelets on my right wrist (which happens to be the wrist I eat with...That way I will always see them there when I go to eat something).  One bracelet has the words "Embrace the Journey" engraved upon it.  The other says "Believe in Yourself."  I truly need these affirmations every single day to remind me that the journey is more important than the result.  The person I become, the changes I make, and the growth I experience during this "journey" of weight loss, and this journey called life, are far more significant than looking good in a hot outfit.  Yes, I want the little benefits of feeling better about myself physically.  I also want to be healthy and live a long, long life.  But most of all, I know that these struggles and challenges I overcome will make me stronger.  As for the "believing in myself" part of it all...I just need to have faith in God and myself that I won't let little mistakes take away from my ultimate goals.  I am human.  I am bound to screw up now and again.  But I need to believe in myself, that I can and will do what I set out to do.  It may take some time.  It may take a long-ass time.  But by God, I will not be weak anymore.  I will not ask myself questions like "What was the point of that?" or tell myself "It's too late."  It's never too late, and there is ALWAYS a point to everything. 

You may be asking yourself...Did Marisa ever actually get to weigh in last week?  As a matter of fact, I did.  I went into Weight Watchers on Friday morning, instead of Saturday.  I put up a 4.4 pound weight loss over the last two weeks.  Not bad for being "lazy" all week.  And now, the word "lazy" is not part of my vocabulary  Instead, I will use words like "somewhat inactive."  Being a mommy never allows for laziness.  I have my baby boy to thank for that. :-)